Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Goodbye 07, 08 you'll just have to wait, we're not ready to let you in yet

I had spent the early hours of 08 going back and forth to the toilet to puke. It's probably because I drank (lots) with an empty stomach the night before =)

Anyway, just to recap 07, about 365 days ago, I was there, sitting at the airport alone, not wanting 07 to come because I didn't want to attend the national service, but it turned out to be a blast. And after 3months was up, me being me, had no heart leaving Sarawak. (I think I've blogged bout this)

The next 3months to come were probably one of the finest moments of my life (if not the). As some might know, I had been going after a certain someone for ages, and thankfully, we finally got together. And well for once in my life I felt,hmm complete I would say. The feeling's indescribable, having someone to love your heart out, be loved, something to treasure for life. She meant the world to me and I was so proud to have her. Maybe I'm being naive in saying this but it was like knowing that she was the one.

And somehow things turned sour, I guess its a tough job being with one like me (ask my critics, they'll ve plenty to tell). And maybe the good Lord knew tht she might ve loose her head and strangle me to death eventually.

Come July it was one hell of a roller coaster ride, I wanted to be the best at everything. I was chasing everything my palms would allow me to grab, wanting to be the best student in school, wanting to be the next head boy, wanting to do wonders and perhaps play god but most importantly, wanting her to be proud of me. And yea, it was tough times, I would spent 3quarters of my life in school, barely had time to sleep. I guess there's a price to pay for everything, my studies hit rock bottom, I had no friends, and I stopped seeing her.

I eventually got what I wanted, holding the most positions in school and probably a member in uncountable no of clubs and societies. Now I ask myself, what for?

Well the last part of 07 wasn't getting any better. Lets just say I'm not who I used to be. I've lost all my hopes and dreams, I've stopped praying, heck I don't even know what I want in life. I don't talk to Jia anymore, I perhaps have stop loving football and I no longer speak to my parents. Every conversation we have ends with an argument. I have now gotten to know Mr. Cigarette and Mr. Alcohol, whom must be my best pals.

It's not as fun as you think it is you know mhsuan, having to please everybody in school, from the students, to the teachers, even the cleaners. Try having to put up a big fake smile everyday to a few hundred people, and having those, whom I call my friends to critic me day in day out, who might probably start talking the moment I publish this post.

I envy you simon n wz, you live a quiet and carefree world all the way in Nilai, all I've is that lil corner of my room. Like yeelyn said, live sucks, I damn well know better.

Oh well, i guess its time to stop whining and welcome 08


Blogger jiayoong. said...

we'll still be good friends despite the absence in between. shing rawks! =3

7:47 PM  

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